Mental Barrier

The music is blasting, the windows are open,
But the page is still empty, nothing seems to happen,
I still cannot think of what on earth to write,
So I lie down and contemplate with all my might,

“I’ll simply type down whatever comes to mind,”
I think, “Might as well,” and I try to unwind,
Not a lot has happened this week, save for a few depressing events,
I glance at the clock, I ponder on where all the time went,

So I put fingers to keyboard and type and erase and type again,
Nothing seems right or decent, I scream in vain,
I slap my forehead and concentrate,
Trying to think of something before it’s too late,

This week I have been studying, and believed dozens of lies,
I have been worrying and forced to say goodbye,
(Even if, in my opinion, it seems we have just said hello),
I have seen beautiful sunsets and the night sky aglow,

Now I’m just babbling, not thinking clearly,
There goes the grade I grasped onto so dearly,
The pressure is on as the time declines,
I try to think of words, of phrases, of lines,

I jump out of my seat and pace around the room,
The emptiness remains, the thoughtlessness resumes,
I sigh deeply running my fingers through my hair,
The idea is lingering, but it’s still not there!

I simply give up, and accept defeat,
I return to the computer and back to my seat,
I could not get away from it, it intimidates, and it mocks,
That horrible feeling referred to as “Writer’s Block”.

Unwind

The science fiction novel Unwind, written by Neal Shusterman, follows the lives of “Unwinds” forced to run away from their parents, the police, and their past. The reason for their avoidance of the government and their escape from their parents -“The Bill of Life”. Unwind takes place in a near future where the Second Civil War has occurred here in the United States; the two opponents- those who argued about the human life and when it begun. After much bloodshed and loss an agreement was established between the Pro-choice and Pro-life armies, this agreement was called “The Bill of Life”. This bill stated that every child had a chance to live and grow up until they reached the age of thirteen. At the ages of thirteen to eighteen, however, parents had the legal right to have their child “unwound”, a process feared by most teenagers and its details hidden by the government. “Unwinding” is the process through which those chosen, or forced to undergo, donated their body parts. When three “Unwinds” -delinquent Conner, orphaned pianist Risa, and the willing “tithe” Lev- find one another, they all must help the other in an attempt to escape being “Unwound”. However their thrilling adventure, unbeknownst to them, will change and affect their entire world.

This book was amazing. From the very first chapter it has you wanting to keep reading and never putting the book down until you find out everything that happens. The incredibly vivid details and characters in this novel have you cheering for their success, wanting them to live their lives out and escape. In this novel every little detail counts. You cannot simply look over a small fact and not expect it to come back in the most mindboggling way. The close encounters with almost-death, betrayals, enemies, and slight romance keep you reading until the last page. Neal Shusterman incorporates current controversies and debates in a possible future that seems incredibly similar to our own society. This scary future seen through the eyes of those the most threatened. It is an overall, thrilling, exciting, thought provoking novel that truly has you rethinking your previous judgments from the beginning of the story.

I am suggesting this book, for it is a great book, and is among my many favorites. I spent a large amount of my free time reading Unwind. It is truly a book that has had me think over and over again about the issues we have today. This book has also given me a different perspective on the world. I began reading this book not expecting what I was going to obtain or learn from it. By the end I left this book in awe, almost inspired and hopeful. Unwind, written by Neal Shusterman, really is an amazing read, and I hope that many more people will choose to give it a chance.

Other books written by Neal Shusterman: Everlost, Everwild, Downsiders, Shattered Sky, Speeding Bullet…

Apprehension, Hesitation, Fear and Regret

It was April 12, 2010, the first day back from the previous ten-day break all the students and teachers received the week before. The effects of the break seemed extremely evident that day, with the majority of the students, sitting idle in their classrooms, were not learning but slightly dosing off. The repeat requests of explanations and constant questions of whether or not they actually learned that the week before break were thrown around in every classroom that day. The equally confused freshman, Denise Orlino, wondered when this spring break daze was going to end, and silently wished for the days when she was not so lost in her classes. 12:30 in the afternoon, Denise mechanically, habitually, and robotically, floated up to her sixth period class. Clad in a plaid button-up shirt, orange sweatshirt, and purple jeans she stumbled into Computer Applications and stepped over to computer number 22. She fell into her chair, exhausted even though it has only been about five hours of school, forty minutes of which she spent sleeping in the cafeteria, and looked around her. The room was relatively empty, save for a couple of other people who arrived earlier than she did. The twenty-six bright gray computers, some black, all shared the same blue screen that begged for somebody to press Ctrl-Alt-Delete. Denise herself shook her head in an effort to clear it slightly, and entered her account to prepare for that day’s lesson. A few more people came in until the school bell rung. A lot more students ran inside the class attempting to beat the bell. Still a few more stragglers walked in, however still not escaping the eyes of the teacher. It was at that moment when Denise, so intent on the thought of the day’s end, did she remember that, that day was when they continued their presentations of their Machinimas, or animated stories presented using PowerPoint. Denise’s heartbeat slightly quickened as she sighed and opened her presentation.
She looked over the PowerPoint, suddenly regretting and criticizing everything that she had included. Her friends around her urged her to present, but she still refused, convinced that the story was too long and boring to be shown to a large amount of people. She continued to fiddle with the presentations, making quick adjustments just in case she decided to actually present. Denise, at the moment, wished that it was still spring break, the time where she did not have to worry about any of this. The first presenter appeared at the front of the class, her voice loud and clear and as she advanced the slides that flew in on the class’s Smart Board. After the first presentation Denise wrung her hands, still extremely nervous. Eventually, the teacher decided to call out the names of those who have yet to present their Machinimas. When Denise heard her name she nodded to the question of whether or not she was going to send it to the teacher’s email. She sent it, her neighbor wondering why. Denise shrugged and tapped her nervous foot on the ground. It was time to present again, the teacher called another person’s name. Denise was extremely relieved, thankful for a few more minutes until she completely embarrassed herself. The other presenter completed and the teacher stood up to call out the next person. Denise heard her name and swallowed deeply. She stepped up to the teacher, palms slightly sweaty, heart in her throat and fingers tapping on the side of her leg. She turned around to see all of her classmates, who, to her, seemed to be a lot more than she remembered, and looked to her teacher. She explained to her all of the problems with her presentation, that it was too long, too boring, and that it simply went on and on. The teacher, not convinced, went through it once and deemed it worthy enough to be presented. Denise, the nervousness finally getting to her, told her teacher she really did not want to present. She asked if she was sure, and Denise nodded, at that time not trusting her voice. The teacher told her that it was a fine presentation, and that she would receive a perfect score if she simply presented it. Denise shook her head and the teacher nodded. She told her that she would have to take away twenty-five points away from the otherwise perfectly fine Machinima, and Denise, relieved but extremely angry at herself, sat back down at computer number 22. Her friends wondered what happened, and she told them everything. 1:12 in the afternoon, Denise was still in computer class and she thinks to herself if she really wanted all of that to happen. And Denise, at the time a little more regretful than usually, walked out of the computer class with thoughts of what had occured and mentally pulverizied herself because of the simple fact that she could not present the story in class that day. But, she trudged on the remainder of the school hours, trying to focus in her later classes despite the fact that her head was still in the spring break clouds.

My Spring Break's Highlight- Music at Night

April eighth, nine’ o’clock, the bright moon high in the cloudy sky. I’m held tightly by my owner who’s balancing on the park swing as we prepare to film the greatest nocturnal band in our little town. She presses the record button and I take everything into my photographic memory. Zoom in on the ukulele player as he begins his soft melody. Swing to the “drummer”, hands hitting the plastic slide; keeping a steady beat. My owner was amazed, I am too. Afterwards, a round of “Kumbaya” ensues. Recording ends. This night definitely beats sitting idle on my owner’s desk.

"On the Brightside" by Nevershoutnever!

I set off for a journey, my burdens on my back,
All the problems I’ve encountered big or small,
My responsibilities, my concerns, and the skills I lack,
Suddenly, I meet a man of two feet tall,

He tells me to cheer up, to keep going through my strife,
I gave him my gratitude, and turn to leave,
He stops me saying, “Listen to these words that I have lived by my whole life,”
I take a seat, shifting my pack of conflicts I had weaved,

“You’re only as tall, as your heart will let you be,
“And you’re only as small, as the world will make you seem.”
He pats my knapsack reassuringly,
I nod to him, smile, and beam,

I continue on, contemplating life, then suddenly trip,
I run my fingers through my hair, ready to bawl,
My eyes water, I quiver my lip,
Suddenly, I meet a man of twelve feet tall,

He asks me my reasons of frustration, what the matter was,
I told him of my journey, my burdens, my good luck’s defiance,
He ponders my words, takes a slight pause,
I look at him…He towered like a giant,

He then said, “Listen to these words that I have dreaded my whole life,
When the going gets rough, and you feel like you may fall,
Just look to the bright side,
You’re roughly five feet tall.”

I dust myself off and thank him,
He gives me a thumbs up and smiles, then turns,
My mood is slightly better, no longer grim,
I smile as I think of the lessons I’ve learned,

The main goal of this journey was to get back on track,
I had too many problems, too many wishes,
I settle down under a tree, taking the burdens off my back,
I smile to the sky, the water, and the fishes,

I think of how fortunate I am; I’m never alone,
And I’m not too tall or too short,
I have a great family and friends; their greatness eternally shone,
I always have assistance and support,

I know now small stepbacks are part of life
And I don't fear the world and the scary things in it,
I can do what my heart desires, conquer any strife,
Beacuse there are infinite choices; the sky my only limit,

All the burdens I had are now lost in a stream,
And all the sadness I held runs away, flees,
For, I’m only as tall, as my heart will let me be,
And I’m only as small, as the world will make me seem,

I feel relieved, thankful for the words of my guides,
For, when the going gets rough, and I feel like I may fall,
I’ll look to the bright side,
I’m roughly five feet tall.

A Picture is Worth 55 Words

Monday: Sleep in for ten minutes; later wake up happily,
Tuesday: Take several tests I’m certain of failing epically,
Wednesday: Find ways to get ten dollars quickly,
Thursday: See ­Rent (great, spectacular, amazing-absolutely!),
Battle between bad luck and me
I had won, just barely,
But, this week, victory!
Next week we’ll,
Have to,
See.

"Of Unwanted Charity and Desired Death"

I chose this new title for Elie Wiesel’s memoir, Night , chapter seven for it seems that it is these two things and feelings that are felt during the entire chapter. It seems as though these two things, charity and death, are things that Elie and those around him either want or do not. While reading the story of Elie and his father in the cattle cars, closer to the ending of the memoir, it is mentioned that charity towards the suffering captured, something many would suspect was wished and wanted by every one of them, was something that only brought along more pain. And death, an occurrence dreaded and feared by all, was begged for by those around Elie Wiesel. All of these things that most people would fear or try to go against were wished for by the suffering captured in Elie’s cattle car. The sights he saw were those not meant to ever be witnessed, and once they were it was hard to get them out of your mind. In this chapter normalcy, comfort, all happiness and fairness was taken away from Elie’s life even further with this trip to another camp in the prolonged, hellishly frigid temperatures of an unforgiving winter, led by unforgiving monsters.

This chapter title works with the events occurring in this chapter for, since Elie, his father, and many other prisoners were travelling in open cattle cars, during the winter, when they stopped onlookers would see their starved and close to death bodies and feel the need to help them somehow. So, some would throw bread to the sickly looking prisoners and Elie witnessed his fellow cart passengers rip and each other or scratch and kick in order to obtain that one piece of bread, one more mouthful to keep them going just a slight bit longer. Elie saw sons betraying their fathers and more horrifying and life-changing happenings. This reminded Elie of a time before all of this suffering, when he was travelling on a boat along with foreigners and a few other very poor and hungry residents. The other passengers would throw money at these residents in an act of charity and kindness. But, Elie pleaded for them all to stop, for he saw that all the money brought was violence and malice. The charity of money or food, something many would think was admirable, was unwanted by Elie, who knew that it would bring more harm than good. After all of that Elie then saw that many of the passengers of the cattle car were losing hope, all claiming that their lives would end right there. Even the strongest of them, Meir Katz, questioned why their captors would simply let them suffer like this, and not kill them already. He was wishing for something that was, to him and many other s most likely, much better than the pain they were going through at the time. They all desired the relief of death.

While Elie saw his fellow passengers fighting for the small scraps of food being thrown at them he remembers the similar incident he had when he was traveling on a boat. He writes, “‘Please,’ I begged, ‘don’t throw any more money in!’ ‘Why not?’ she said. ‘I like to give charity….’ “(Wiesel, 95). This is saying that Elie remembers a time in his past when the concerned also threw food and money to those they believed needed it. However, he wanted them to stop, for all it caused the hungry or poor to do was turn on each other and attack. This occurrence, which happened, too, on Elie’s cattle car, truly shed more light on the conditions the victims of prejudice had to go through. Things were so horrible, so unbearable that they savagely jumped at any piece of food, not hesitant to kill for it. The charity that was meant to only bring an easier and more comfortable time for the poor and mistreated only brought along more pain and sadness. Elie did not want this kind of “kindness”; their charity was very unwanted. In chapter seven Elie Wiesel also writes, “Meir Katz groaned: ‘Why don’t they shoot us all right away?’”(98). In this chapter the suffering that the Jewish people with Elie had to endure was so great that many simply gave up, wished that all of it would simply end with a quick and painless death. None of them, not even the most faithful of them, Meir Katz, desired to go on living in this way. The people around Elie wanted nothing but for all of this pain and torture to end. Many longed, they desired, to die. This chapter spoke of Elie's unwanted charity from those around him, and of the people who only wanted death in their lives of pain. So, "Of Unwanted Charity and Desired Death" is a suitable name for this chapter.